If You Could Only See
by moments-of-weakness
Summary: He broke a promise that shattered her heart...she was too strong to let it break her spirit. If only they can break through the walls of fear and find the truth they're meant to see...


_**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything of Once and Again...I'm simply obsessed and must write about it! I do not own any part of the wonderful song "If You Could Only See" by Cyndi Thomson  
**Rating:** PG13...language  
**Summary:** Hmm, ya know, I really don't have a specific time when this would take place. Other than it's after Tough Love and the falling out between Eli and Grace   
**Notes:** I have some stuff going on right now and well, I wasn't sleeping and was worried and I was in a sappy mood and somehow, I got in the mood to write. I heard this song and just knew I had to use it...it just seemed so perfect for Eli and Grace.  
**Feedback:** Any and all feedback is great and means the world to me!_  
  
_Most importantly, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!_

**_You come home uncompleted  
Down and defeated  
Feeling all alone  
You think your dreams are passing by you  
And deep down inside you  
You're running out of hope_  
**  
He slammed the door behind him and threw his coat against the wall. Part of him wanted to punch the wall but he knew it would hurt worse than it could ever help so he settled with trying to play his guitar. When that didn't work, he turned off the lights and sat in his chair in the dark listening to the rain falling on the roof sounding as angry as he felt. He didn't need anyone thinking he was home and coming to his room asking if he was okay. He wasn't certain he would ever be okay again.

He sighed as he tried remembering a time he was happy, a time when he felt he was worth something and he couldn't summon one single solitary moment in his mind. When had it all gone so terribly wrong? He could blame his dad moving in with the 'mom' but knew he had to take the blame himself. Eli wasn't certain he was ready to do that. It was so much easier blaming the rest of the world for his stupid mistakes. He'd lost one too many jobs and one too many friends. He screwed up every time he was in love...or thought he was in love. The one person he thought understood him now hated him and it was completely his fault.

He slowly stood and walked to his bed where he sat on the edge and took his shoes off. He peeled off his socks and contemplated shedding his jeans. He decided against it. He was too tired, exhausted really, and just didn't give a damn. He takes off his shirt, lies down on the bed, shuts his eyes, and begs sleep to come quickly.

_**If you could only see what I see  
You'd see the man that you wish you could be  
If you could only see what I see in you...**_

She heard him come home. She always knew when he was around even when he didn't want anyone knowing he was there. It must have been a rough night for him because he didn't have his light on very long.

She stared out the window at the garage and listened to the harsh drops of rain pounding down on the ground between them. It only made the distance between them seem that much greater and that much more impossible to bridge. Somehow she knew she should...Grace knew she should try because whether he would admit it or not, Eli needed her. Eli needed someone and she didn't want it to be anyone else. He wasn't as horrible as others insinuated. He was lost. He needed a light to guide him. He had potential. She would show him the way.

_**You're my strength  
The light that guides me  
The angel beside me  
The path that I walk  
When I wake up  
You're why I want to  
The one I hold on to  
When I start to fall**_

He brushed the hair away from her eyes. He needed to see them. Eli needed to look into her eyes and know he was doing the right thing. Slowly he brought his other hand to her cheek and licked his lips. As he pulled her toward him they heard a knock on the door. A soft voice whispered his name. The voice of an angel. His angel. Grace was whispering his name. He bolted upright in his bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes.

'_Damn dreams. Damn Grace.' _ She crept into another one of his dreams and yet this time he was certain he heard her voice as though she were standing with him. He put his hands on the bed behind him, leaned back, and heard the knock and her voice once more. He chuckled as he realized the Grace that was alive and in his life was knocking on his door. She was saving him in his dream and now he wished she would save his life...his harsh cold reality.  
  
He stood and walked slowly to the door. With a deep breath he opened it and said "hey. Should you be out here?" He leaned out the door and looked up into the sky as rain hit his face. "In the rain?"

"I wouldn't be in the rain if you let me inside." She waited and he never moved. "Dammit Eli, I could tell you were angry earlier today and I just...I don't know. I guess I wanted to make sure you were okay. Or see if you needed anything. Maybe I wanted to know if you wanted to talk."

"Grace, we don't talk. At least not anymore."

"And whose fault is that?" She placed a hand on her hip as that crooked grin appeared on his face...the same grin that annoyed her to no end when she was angry with him...the same grin that drove her wild in her dreams every single night.

As quickly as it appeared, the grin disappeared from his face and a scowl appeared. "Mine. Now go. Go on to bed Gracie. Be the good daughter and don't hang out in the garage with your wicked stepbrother that will end up a horrible influence and make you do terrible things you know you shouldn't do."

He started to close the door but Grace stopped it with her hand. "Dammit Eli. Talk to me. Let me in. Let me in your room and let me in your..." She stopped. She wasn't sure how she would end that sentence but knew neither of them wanted to hear any of the options floating through her mind.

He tilted his head. The two of them were standing in his doorway. He was shirtless, the top button of his jeans undone and barefoot while she stood in front of him completely dressed and soaked. She was still standing in the rain and too stubborn to go back to the house, to her warm bed, and back to sleep. Eli sighed. He stepped back out of the doorway and softly said "fine, come in if you must" as he opened the door wider for her to walk through.

"Thank you" she said as she walked past him and over to his desk. She took off her jacket and slung it over the back of his chair watching the water drip off onto his floor.

"I'd say you're welcome but I won't, considering you just got water all over the place."

"What do you expect? You left me out in the rain. Do you think I have some sort of secret power that keeps the rain away from me...like what, a force shield? Sometimes Eli I really wonder if you..." Again, she stopped the words from escaping.

"If I what Grace? If I have a brain? If I had any sense? What Grace...just say it. Finish your sentence. Stop editing yourself around me. Certainly don't do it to make me happy. Why the hell should I be happy? Don't you know Eli Sammler isn't worth it?" He turned away from her and slammed the door shut. She jumped at the sound and he knew he shouldn't have slammed the door. It was too late. It always seemed to be too late for him.

She knew she didn't feel that way about him. Grace knew Eli was worth it. She knew he had a brain. He brought things out of her that she never seemed to be able to control and couldn't for the life of her figure out why. Or at least she didn't want to admit the reason she knew in her heart. It was now or never. She took a deep breath and looked him deep in his eyes.

_**If you could only see what I see  
You'd see the man that you wish you could be  
If you could only see what I see in you...  
Wish I could make you believe  
In all that you are you don't have to be  
Everything to everyone  
Everybody's number one  
Cause baby you're everything to me**_

"You don't get it. You have no idea what you mean to us...to me. Your sister would have lost her mind in this house if it weren't for you cause god knows I wasn't very helpful or open to her. My mother...she's trying to be cool of all things now. I think the two of you had one too many heart to hearts while you were both home during the day." Grace paused a moment to gather her thoughts before she blurted out something she might not be ready for him to hear.

"You can stop there Grace. You're all out of people. What about my parents huh? They could care less where I go anymore."

"That's bullshit and you know it." Grace stopped and saw the stunned look on Eli's face. "What? I said bullshit. Like you never have? I'm not perfect little Gracie no matter how much you want me to be."

He was confused. His mind was taking him places he knew it shouldn't. Places his heart didn't want him to go. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If I was perfect little Gracie I wouldn't be up here wanting to kick your ass and get you on the right track. Perfect little Gracie wouldn't go out on a limb like this. Perfect little Gracie wouldn't take a chance and risk anything. Perfect little Gracie would run to mommy or daddy and tell them to help the idiot in the garage that's too stubborn and blind to see his true potential. She'd avoid confrontation because good little girls don't do that. God Eli, you're a good man. You've got a good heart. You're not an idiot no matter how hard you try to be. You never have to be perfect Eli. No one is perfect, don't you get that? I am not perfect little Gracie and I wouldn't want to be."

She paused a moment needing to catch her breath and find some courage from deep within. "You are not perfect but Eli, you..." She couldn't finish.

He took a step closer and stopped. He didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what he was feeling at that moment. His stomach was doing flips, his breathing was shallow, and his heart was pounding out of his chest. "I what Grace?"

She didn't answer him and he watched as she lowered her head. He knew she was staring at her feet; she did that too often when she was in his presence.

Eli took that opportunity and closed the distance between them. Just above a whisper he said, "Grace, please. Don't hold back anymore. I need to know. We can't keep doing this ridiculous dance we always do around one another. Talk to me Grace."

Knowing she couldn't look him in the eyes, softly she said, "You're not perfect but you're all I need."

He smiled. He held back a giggle knowing he'd sound like a silly girl. Eli Sammler would not giggle like a schoolgirl. He wrapped her in his arms and let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "Thank you Grace."

She sighed and held on tightly. She knew they had miles to go but Grace also realized they'd traveled a million miles to get to this moment in time. They held one another listening to the pouring rain with smiles on their faces and hope in their hearts for things to come.

_**If you could only see what I see  
You'd see the man that you wished you could be  
If you could only see what I see in you...**_


End file.
